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About Face


Sep 8, 2020

In 2017, my 18-month old daughter had to have brain scans for a suspected tumor. While in the hospital, she didn't wake up from the anesthetic. It turned out she had caught a superbug while being tested, but the doctors told me that she should also be tested for lung cancer, blood cancers, among other really scary diagnoses. All of this was something I had to navigate in a foreign country, in a foreign language.
 
Literally, the scariest week of my life.
 
Eventually she was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation and doctors have since wanted to perform an invasive brain stem surgery/decompression surgery. Last week they told me again that she needs this intervention, but I am terrified. Also, she has no symptoms, which makes the decision making process incredibly difficult and really triggering for me.
 
In this week's episode, I share what it is like to experience this real fear I am having, but also the ways that I am coping. I will continue to discuss fear inventories and how to use our fears as a gateway towards reframing our values and purpose. This isn't about shifting away from pain and fear, but actually leaning into it, using somatic understanding, so that we can get clear and mindful about how to process and make decisions with confidence.
 
Instagram: @Restorya
 
Tara Brach and the R.A.I.N. Meditation
https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/
 
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